Teachers Share Things They Wish They Could Say to Parents

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 8, 2023 5:00 PM EDT

Teachers get a lot of blame for kids' bad behavior. Parents go to parent-teacher conferences and belligerently demand that the teacher explain why their child is not doing well in class. Teachers are expected to kindly explain to parents what the issue is, even when the parents are being rude and demanding. The truth is, it's usually not the teacher's fault that a kid is failing to thrive in the classroom, and yet they have to shoulder so much of the blame. It's demonstrably unfair. 

In a perfect world, teachers could be completely honest with parents about their kids, but unfortunately, our world is far from perfect. Teachers can't bluntly tell parents about their kid's shortcomings because they will likely get in trouble or deeply hurt the parent's feelings. One teacher went to r/Teachers to ask her fellow educators what they wish they could say to parents; their answers are hilarious and honest.

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  • 01
    Rectangle - r/Teachers u/larkandwashington - 13h What are you holding back saying to parents? Humor
    via u/larkandwashington
  • 02
    Font - What do you wish you could say, but can't? Vent away! For me: Parent who takes no advice from teachers: "We've tried everything" Me: "Have you tried... parenting?"
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  • 03
    Human body - jawnbaejaeger • 8h "Maybe your kid is just... average? That's okay. That's what average IS." Reply 694 694
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  • 04
    Font - Sostupid 2466h The world is run by average people. Average is ok. Your kid isn't that special and to be honest, none of us are. When everyone is special, none of us are special. So stop telling me how incredible he is. He's average, like everybody else. ... 295
    via u/Sostupid246
  • 05
    Rectangle - AndrysThorngage 4h This so much. Not everyone deserves an A. If everyone got an A, it would be meaningless. 428 28
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  • 06
    Font - capybaramelhor . 6h It's not my job to tell you every time your child is late or misses an assignment. I have 165 students. How on earth could you think that's my job? How about you check the damn google classroom instead? ... Reply 295
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  • 07
    Font - PikPekachu . 4h Just yesterday a parent got mad at me because they have 5 kids and it's just too much to manage. First of all, you chose to have kids. Second, I have 151. 4105
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  • 08
    Font - capybaramelhor 4h ● I just had another talk like this with a parent. She told me to tell her when her son was missing assignments "because when I ask him, he says he doesn't have any homework." Lady, if your child is lying to you and you refuse to check the digital resources we lay out and explain at the beginning of the year, that's not my problem. 486
    via u/capybaramelhor
  • 09
    Font - Dry Needleworker1165. 3h I never understand how parents fall for that anyway. What is the probability of your kid not having ANY homework for most of the school week? 430
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  • 10
    Font - YoureNotSpeshul. 5h I'll never understand this. These days, tracking your child's academic progress and attendance is easier than ever and yet so many parents just don't fucking do it. They expect us to do it all for them. ... 113 113
    via u/YoureNotSpeshul.
  • 11
    Font - capybaramelhor . 5h I need to get better at wording this and explaining it to parents, also urging my admin to do the same. I teach 6th grade and it's their first year in MS after elementary. Before their teacher only had about 30 kids so there likely was more communication, and maybe they could reach out to the same 3-4 kids who don't do work... but when I have 15-30 of those kids, it doesn't work. My school needs to be more supportive of teachers in this aspect, but they want the parent
    via u/capybaramelhor
  • 12
    Font - coskibum002. 6h Your kid acts like an asshole....because you're an asshole. ... Reply 435
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  • 13
    Font - Cautious-Fly4154 . 4h Oh my goodness!!!! Yeeeessssss!!!!! When I say "she/he acts just like you!" What I'm saying is that you suck and that's why they suck! Damn!!! Ughhh ... 43
    via u/Cautious-Fly4154
  • 14
    Font - ThatComicChick. 10h Your kid thinks they're being singled out because they're the worst behaved student in the class. Reply 611
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  • 15
    Font - Leucotheasveils. 5h OMG I have that student, too! "Why you always tellin me to do things?!?" "Why are you always not doing what you're asked to?!" 168
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  • 16
    Font - YoMommaBack . 5h "Why you always picking on MEEEE?!" "Because it's always YOUUUUU" This conversation just happened yesterday. 182 ↓
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  • 17
    Font - Stressed-247 • 12h "Your child's education matters. I know you think 6th grade doesn't count since colleges only look at high school grades, but if your kid refuses to learn the basics now, they'll struggle to learn the more advanced stuff in high school" Reply 219
    via u/Stressed-247
  • 18
    Rectangle - YoureNotSpeshul. 6h This is a big one and I'm not sure how parents and kids alike can't grasp this very, very, simple concept. ... 437
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  • 19
    Rectangle - HeyHon • 7h 8th Grade | Language Arts | Baltimore Your kid can't read because you never read to them. ... Reply 458
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  • 20
    Font - himewaridesu. 6h Holy shit. As a librarian I used to do outreach programs for pre-k and K. The difference between a kid being read to and not is HUGE. 4200
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  • 21
    Font - alundi • 6h It's not just reading to them, it's also talking to them and having actual conversations with and in front of them. We can tell fairly easily who's family engage their children's mind and thoughts and who don't. Over spring break I went to a museum of natural history and there was this dad with his two little kids 2&5ish. The narrating and prompting he was doing for the 10 minutes I overheard was exhausting but I appreciated his commitment to thinking out loud and hearing thei
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  • 22
    Font - beebotherer . 5h 100% this. We had a foster son (who we later adopted) who didn't speak, beyond the words hi, bye, and car. He was well past the age where he should have started speaking in complete sentences, but he came from a place where he was pretty much ignored. We scheduled him to be evaluated for learning difficulties, and it occurred to me that he might have hearing difficulties, so i started trying to learn ASL, but by the time he could be seen, he started talking to the point w
    via u/beebotherer
  • 23
    Font - amscraylane. 5h It's sad. It is eye opening thinking about how many children actually have books in their house. It is simply one of the easiest things you can do for your child, and yet so many don't. 474
    via u/amscraylane
  • 24
    Font - Super Original_6664 - 6h Your pretend notion that the phone you got your child is for "safety " is total bullshit and we both know it. Do you want safety? Get them a flip phone. Do you want safety because you want to know where they are? Put AirTags on them. But giving them a handheld Internet device is not safe, especially when they're on there doing the most unsafe things. Reply + 377 377
    via u/Super Original_6664
  • 25
    Font - MuscleStruts • 4h Holy shit this. Growing up, it was drilled into me and my parents. "If you care about your child's safety, don't let them have unsupervised internet access until they are mature enough." 4132 ↓
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  • 26
    Font - Waterproof_soap. 4h News flash parents: 11 is not mature enough. 473 +
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  • 27
    Font - ExtremeExtension9 . 6h I lead high school yearbook and this week we finally finished it and sent it off to print. I had a few parents who would email me every day (numerous times a day) trying to dictate what I should do with the yearbook, normally in relation to putting their child front and centre. To these parents I want to say "your child is no more special than any other child in the school" Reply 96
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  • 28
    Font - Akmatt58. 4h Recovering 20+ yearbook advisor here: "oh, the one who continually won't show up for planned photos, skips school portrait days (and makeups), doesn't play any sport, not in a club or service organization, is excessively absent, and generally doesn't participate in anything at the school? And how will we have photos of them?" ... 44 44
    via u/Akmatt58
  • 29
    Font - Most-Flight-9505 - 10h I only need to put up with your child for 10 months, they are yours forever. Reply 256
    via u/Most-Flight-9505

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